I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
