You really coming over, don't trick.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
