Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We need a shit load of segways right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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