He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
