Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am available for nakedness
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want a musical about memes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
