I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
