try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
