Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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