I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
