She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
