Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize