dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
