DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
