We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
