you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
