Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
