I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
