I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
