God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
