Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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