He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
