I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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