You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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