I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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