I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
