My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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