Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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