shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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