guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
