Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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