she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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