from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
