Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize