Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
