I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
