He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
