It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
