and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
