Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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