69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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