Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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