I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
