I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
