I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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