Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
