I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
