how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
