Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
