i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He has the fingertips of a God
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