Where is the hickey?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
